Update and Zero Waste

So remember how I messed up the time on the first interview I had for that promotion. Luckily I was given a second chance on Wednesday. At 11am I had an interview that didn’t go as well as I hoped. I honestly think I could of done better over all. Apparently, I don’t do well with phone interviews.

That is okay though. I figured at this point, I’m done stressing over this promotion. That this career isn’t who I am. Most of my coworkers have been supportive through the process. Saying things like “You deserve it!”. Which is fine. I’m appreciate the support. I am just tired of the politics that comes with this promotion is all.

Moving forward though!

I am leading towards a zero waste lifestyle. Lately I have been inspired by some bloggers and instagramers that are zero wasters (is instagramers even a word?) There are certain things I have been doing for years like bringing my own bag, not using the plastic bags for produce.With all the de-cluttering, I have noticed that I use things that are one time use only. Things like makeup containers, face washes, liquid soaps. Also everything is packaged in plastic. Plastic that probably can’t even be recycled. It is quite frustrating and wasteful.

My new minimalist outlook and zero waste do go hand in hand. Both have really opened my eyes are the amount of wasteful things are created each day.  These changes won’t happen overnight and mistakes will be made but I am moving  in the right direction. This holiday weekend I am committing to not use any plastic cups from work. I will bring my own cup. I am also committed to bring my own lunch to work. Using the food that I have at home with eliminate the amount of food waste that I do.  Monday, I will let you all now how the works out. Thanks for reading this short but sweet update.

XOXO Jenn

Bullying Doesn’t Stop When You Grow Up.

I turned 29 this year. The last thing I wanted was to be bullied. Growing up, I was the fat kid that didn’t really belong anywhere. The group of so called friends would call me fat, fat ass, Rosie O’Donald. You name it, I was teased. One memory that springs to mind was when I was about 10 years old. I was riding my bike pretty far from home. My friends and I had met up with some other people from school. One of the boys that was there said these exact words. “Oh look you got an exercise support group for the fat asses.”

Now kids will be kids right? That is what we are told. That teasing is a part of life and that it builds characters. I completely agree with that. I was able to push away all the hurtful things they said and move forward. I knew in my heart that I was worth more than their words. That my body type was not defined by my worth as a human being.

Since then I’ve lost 75 pounds. No one can call me fat anymore right? No one could bully me into thinking I wasn’t good enough because of my weight.

But bullying doesn’t stop when you grow up. You can have work bullies. Which is what I am dealing with currently. I didn’t quite understand it at first. I hadn’t been tease or bullied in years, so I didn’t notice the signs till I actually listened to what was being said. All the feelings I had as a kid rushed back. The anger, frustration, pain, all came back with a force. Work has turned into what school was for me. I am unmotivated, bitter and hurt. Instead of attacking my body, this person is attacking my character and my skill. Which is ten times worst in my case. I try to not let peoples opinions bother me especially when they are strangers. Once again though this is someone I see on a daily basis, so the anger just comes back full force when I see her face.

I keep reminding myself that her words mean nothing. That she is just insecure about herself. That her judgement are just reflections of her own judgement on herself. This experience with adult bullying has been eye opening. I honestly thought I wouldn’t have to deal with this again but this is character building for me. I will be stronger once I have moved passed this bump in the road. Thanks for reading.

Jenn Marie

Organized or messy.

Am I organized or Messy?

I saw this question during my journey through endless pinterest scrolling. You know, in one of those journal prompts pages. Now I highly doubt anyone is that interested in how I organize or clean my kitchen is. Maybe your weird like me and you like knowing how other people clean. Moving on to the topic at hand!

Is there such a thing called organized mess? Through my journey so far into this whole minimalism rabbit hole, I have been doing some self-evaluation.

I can either let my clean clothes sit for day on a couch or I will fold them instantly out of the dryer. There is no middle ground. Same goes for the kitchen or any other part of the apartment. I have tried to pinpoint the reason behind this organized mess. Typically this all stems from my exhaustion from standing for 8 1/2 hours a day from work.

When I had my own room as a child, it would always be messy. The only times I would clean it would be family occasions. Now was my messiness due to being tired 95% of the time. No but I was a typical child that didn’t want to do anything my parents asked me to do. Anyway, I’ve grown up and my organizing/cleaning habits have taken shape. I’ve looked at all those HOW TO guides to cleaning or even those silly day-to-day guides. None of them have worked. I have gotten better with certain things but sometimes the lived in look is comforting than sparkling clean.

So to answer the question I am an organized mess in my life and in my habits. Will that clean over time? Sure but for now I am content with learning about myself in this journey. Thanks for reading.

Jenn Marie

Positivity

positivity

 

The last couple weeks have been whirlwind of emotions and negativity. Most of it stemming from work, due to people leaving.  The turnover is awful but how do you turn a negative moment into positive outcomes?

You can’t change the way people are. I’ve come to that conclusion.

Change can be positive though. It helps grow humans into better people, for the most part. People mold from their habits and surroundings. When their surroundings change, they freak out and are unable to focus on the things that matter. There is one thing about us as humans though that is amazing. We learn to adapt to the changes around us. It takes time but eventually everything evens out.

Change and positive thinking go hand in hand. Change in an outlook can help bring positive thoughts to negative situations.

Some days are easier than others. I have the tendency to absorb negative thoughts and feelings from others. I use different methods to help not let the negative thoughts affect me as much as they do. Leaving work at work and my home life at home, help with this. I do vent every so often about work to my significant other but I do try to drop it after I’ve ranted. Another way, I avoid the people that are toxic in my workplace. This one is harder since I am a manager. My time with them is limited to the amount I allow.

Accepting my new minimalist lifestyle has been a tremendous amount of help. I’ve stopped purchasing things “just because I had a bad day” or “I deserve this because I finished a project”. With the material things out of the way, I have been able to deal with my true feelings and work through them.

This doesn’t mean I don’t have negative thoughts. I do. My last post about Failure is a great showing of that. I do work diligently though to minimize the negative thoughts to leave space for the thoughts I actually want in my life.

Everyone has the same 24 hours, what will you do to stay positive?

 

 

Failure

Disclaimer: If you are sensitive to NSFW words please do not read on.

 

So, I fucked up.

No seriously, I really fucked up. Let’s start at the beginning.

I have been seeking this promotion at work for about  8 months now. The time has come where I could have a chance at getting it.Promotion means more money, more responsible, more stress.  To prove my worth to the company I work for. What do I do? I remembered the time wrong and missed the meeting I had with my district manager.

I feel awful about it. I made a mistake. A big one, One that could ruin my chances at future promotions with the company. In essence, I tainted my worth at this company.

Now I know that I am being somewhat overemotional about the situation. That it isn’t as bad as I am making it out to be. Does my worth only equate to what I do career wise? Am I so engulfed in my career that this one mistake is the end for my career?

No. Plain and simple, No.

It hasn’t taken a couple days for me to come to this realization. My self worth isn’t what I do at my job. My job is just a place that I make money to support myself. Nothing more. My job is not my passion in life. My life goal. Promotions are nice and come with great benefits but they do not equate to my self worth.

I am still working through the negative thoughts that have come about with this mistake. This event will probably stick with me for the rest of my life. That’s okay though. We are all human. We all make mistakes. Some bigger than others. That’s okay. My goal right now is to take each day at a time and stay positive. If need be, I’ll look for another place that helps me support myself. Always be able to let go and walk away at a moments notice. Nothing is worth your time that doesn’t improve your self worth.

 

Temptation

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Ive mentioned before that I am trying on the minimalism thing.  The last couple days have not been the easiest.

I work in a book store and for a book lover that can bring some complications. How you may ask? I am not a quick reader. So my back log of books is in the hundreds at this point. Plus we sell cute knick knacks and other things that would not add value to my life.

I have been asking myself that lately. Does this item add value to my life? It has helped calm my anxious need to fulfill my consumer habits. I can honestly say that I haven’t purchased any items that would not add value to my life.

If you also didn’t know I was/am an avid Funko Pop figure collector. About a week ago when I was first learning about minimalism, a new set of Harry Potter figures came in. Everyone was thrilled! It was like Christmas in March at work. One of my coworkers knew that I was into them and put a couple on the side for me. A lovely gesture I was apperciative of. I picked up the items, held them for a minute and thought. Do I really want if? Do I really want to add more figures to my collection/ home? I smiled and decided not to feed into the hype. I thanked my coworker for being so gracious and saving me one but it wasn’t something that I wanted to add.

A different coworker over heard that I wasn’t very excited about the brand new items. He began to question if he actually needed it. I laughed and realized how people feed off of others excitement for new things. Whether it be a new phone or a plastic toy, sometimes we rely on others excitement to get excited.

My journey so far hasn’t been long but I’ve already learned some new lessons in life.

Thanks for reading friends!

Xoxo, Jenn